My name is Jenn, and I'm a 27 year old married and babied chick. In addition to a husband, a seven year old daughter, and a five year old autistic son, I also have four cats, three hermit crabs, two frogs, a few fish, and one snorty little Pug. I work from home doing a variety of writing and even some web design. I love blogging, digital photography and web design.
My twelve year old brother is turning into a punk that needs his ass handed to him.
He slept over Saturday night. Knowing damn well he has a bedwetting problem, he went to bed without putting a diaper on (my husband and I were out for the evening; my mother was here with my brothers and our kids, and didn’t oversee my twelve year old brother putting a diaper on, for whatever reason). So, he wet the bed. Fine. I really don’t care about that, so long as he takes care of the mess – aka strips off the wet clothes and bed sheets and blankets and washes everything.
He did wash the sheets and blankets — after my husband prompted him to.
But he did not bother to take off his clothes and wash them. My husband and I didn’t realize this, probably because we didn’t see what clothes he went to bed in last night, since we weren’t here.
I repeat – my brother wet the bed last night, but did not bother to CHANGE HIS CLOTHES. Instead, he was all over our house all morning and afternoon, and of course all over our furniture — desk chairs, recliner, sofa — in pissy clothes. I was pissed as hell (no pun intended) when I found out, and reamed him out. Not for wetting the bed, but for not properly taking care of his soiled clothes, and instead wearing them ALL OVER OUR FURNITURE.
So I take him home this afternoon. I come back, and go into the secondary bathroom, only to find that he left it a mess. I know it was him, because Dan and I only use our bathroom, Alyssa had been sleeping all morning and afternoon (sick and running a fever), and Ryan isn’t potty-trained. So, the mess from him: unflushed toilet, urine all over the seat and all over the floor. He does this at my mom’s house too. He’s very careless, and doesn’t care, and my mom makes matters worse by bitching about it, but still cleaning it herself, instead of making him do it.
So, I messaged my brother on MSN, and told him that I found the mess in the bathroom, and I was disgusted by it, and not happy about it. I told him that since he could not be considerate of other people and their home and their belongings, he cannot come into my house unless he is wearing a diaper. My house, my expensive belongings. I refuse to have them ruined because 1) he doesn’t bother to clean up properly or fucking AIM IN THE GODDAMN TOILET IT IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT and 2) he doesn’t give a damn.
His response? Oh, I was steaming after this:
Quit your bitching
I responded with, “[his name], Dan and I pay a lot of money and put a lot of effort into keeping our home clean and our furniture and belongings in good condition. I am upset and angry that you refuse to respect that.”
Whatever
At that point, I really wanted to go off on him, but I didn’t. Instead, I told him that I would remember his nonchalant attitude the next time he asks me for something.
Which, honestly, is the only time he really bothers to talk to me. Any time he IMs me or calls me it’s because he wants me to pay for something – a game, a membership, Wii points, a new video game, a cell phone (!!!), yadda yadda yadda.
And my mom? Plays right into his hands, gives him everything she wants, and tells me off for daring to be so critical of my brother who is “only” twelve. I’m sorry, but the “only #” thing worked when he was eight and nine. It began to wear and ten and eleven. But now… TWELVE? He’s going to be thirteen. Fuck the only. He needs to take responsibility, something he is perfectly capable of and demonstrated when he was living with us for those seven weeks last fall and then another two weeks last month. It’s when he’s with my mom and she’s lazy and careless about making him toe the line that he acts like this.
Ugh. This rant was brought to you by Nyquil, which is really beginning to fuck with my senses right about now.
Wow! You have a right ti be angry about it! I’d be the same! It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do, and you’re certainly not being unreasonable!
Jenn OMG freaking OMG. How does Dan keep from going off on him? I’d have lost it by now, I don’t care if it were my significant other’s sibling. My god Alyssa and Ryan do not need to be learning it’s ok to be that lazy that you wear your dirty pee pants all over everything. They’ll get old enough to pick up on it eventually. I can see Alyssa being a real girly girl and being grossed out by it and then your brother is going to feel stupid on top of it all. Maybe that’s what it’s going to take though.
Is it not something that can be helped that causes him to pee the bed? Because as you are talking about the other things he does it really does make it sound like he’s partially just that lazy. I agree with the diaper thing. I’m let down that your mom didn’t make sure he wore one.
What will be do when he wants to date? He’s not going to be successful at it if he keeps all this up.