Letters

Dear Husband:

When you say you’re leaving work early, I’m thinking a half hour early, or more. Leaving ten minutes early isn’t early enough to be called early. Leaving ten minutes before your scheduled shift ends is basically leaving because you don’t feel like standing around for another ten minutes. :P

Dear Daughter:

Quit with the attitude. You’re three years old, which is way too young to be putting your hands on your hips, jutting out your lower lip, telling me “It’s not fair!”, stomping down the hall and slamming your bedroom door. Either that, or get all of the sass out now, and be a perfect angel when you’re a teenager.

Dear Son:

There is no need to take off your pants simply because you’re frustrated or not happy that I told you no or took something away from you. And if you insist on taking off your pants, enjoy the breeze and chilled, chunky baby thighs, because I am not turning up the heat and thus spending more money on the cost of heating, simply because you want to throw a royal toddler shit fit.

Dear Cats:

I was very, very sick last week. Thus I let your secondary litter box go for 24 hours with scooping. You had another perfectly scooped litter box to use… so why did you let your displeasure be known by urinating in the clean litter that was still inside the litter carton? Ergh.


4 responses to “Letters” - Jump to comment form

  1. Dan wrote on #

    Not my fault I have such a strong work ethic :P

    Oh, and I wonder where she gets all that sass from…

  2. I could write a few choice letters to my husband and kidlets. An eviction notice to my brother in law perhaps? Maybe I’ll save them for a rainy day.

    Good post!

    btw, like your layout, it looks oddly familiar. hee hee

  3. Ranee wrote on #

    This made me laugh…and I needed that! Thanks. At the same age Sydney was much like Alyssa, now it’s just getting on my nerves to the point of I can’t wait for kindergarten to start.

    Sydney is being very lazy lately. Everything has to be done for her. I told her she was acting like a baby and she would be treated like one as well. She pulled this little deal where she opened the door and started to talk to kids walking to school when I was was brushing my teeth. I asked her why and she attempted to lie. I said next time save your breath and just say, I am a liar enough said. Just save your energy for the next evil deed you do child. So then I take her to school and she’s still at it acting like at 5 years old she can’t get into the car by herself, knowing damn well I can barely lift her. It’s all poor me, woes me, I must be carried to my destination so they can all bow before me. I told her that she’s not going to the BFF’s party on Sunday because she can’t listen and when the little girl asked I’d tell her just that. She said well, too bad I’ll tell her I am, and then I’ll go. I swear to god if we hadn’t been in a church parking lot I’d have beaten her smart ass.

    And see, ranting about it makes me feel better and spares her a beating.