My name is Jenn, and I'm a 27 year old married and babied chick. In addition to a husband, a seven year old daughter, and a five year old autistic son, I also have four cats, three hermit crabs, two frogs, a few fish, and one snorty little Pug. I work from home doing a variety of writing and even some web design. I love blogging, digital photography and web design.
I think the biggest emotion that comes to mind when it comes to dealing with Ryan from day to day is frustration. Don’t get me wrong, for a two year old I would say he is well behaved. But the lack of communication causes issues and causes him to become easily frustrated. And his inability to handle noise, large crowds and open spaces makes even the simplest task of going to the grocery store or taking Alyssa to the playground become a real challenge. I admit that there are days where we don’t go out until Dan is home, or I send Alyssa out with him or my mother, because Ryan gets to be too much to handle.
Today though I went ahead and took Alyssa and Ryan out. Sure, he had a meltdown in my grandfather’s assisted living home when I stopped pushing the stroller long enough to get a drink of water, and flipped out some more because I had to take three minutes to jam the stroller and my grandfather’s walker into my hatch before I could start the car and get moving, but overall he did pretty well.
Then there was the playground. With Ryan, he needs structure, and a lot of it. With most kids, you turn them loose once you get to a playground. Not so with Ryan. While Alyssa darts towards the slide or the swings, Ryan does best if you take his hand and guide him firmly from one activity to the next. He also needs a lot of walking (structured), and then calming time on the stroller.
You should have seen the judgmental looks I got from other mothers when I strapped Ryan into his stroller. The horrors! Denying a two year old the playground! But believe me, he was a lot happier and actually MUCH calmer when he was physically restrained, and forced to do nothing else besides calm down and focus on things near him — myself, his sippy cup, a granola bar, a picture book — rather than trying to take in an overstimulating environment.
All in all, the day was a success. I got a little frazzled at one point when I was walking Ryan to the car to get his stroller and Alyssa was being a little drama queen and howling for me, but that resolved quickly enough. 
I can definitely see why you’re frustrated, and no, I don’t imagine having other mothers judging you would help much!
Don’t let them bother you though, the way you raise your children and deal with your son’s autism is your business, not theirs!
You know your kids and how they best function in certain situations, other, nosy people should just…go away and hush.